New York City Christmas
by MonkeyPajamas
Summary: Jane always loved Christmas in the city.


Author's Note: I do not own #Blindspot. Not at all. Just got the desire to play around with these characters some.

Also, happy birthday **Terp4Life**. I didn't plan this to be a birthday present for you, but it's your birthday and so it counts.

* * *

 _Please come home for Christmas_

 _There'll be no more sorrow no grief and pain_

 _And I'll be happy, happy once again_

"You know I love Colorado," Jane said wistfully, staring out the window. "But I miss being in New York at Christmas time."

From the couch, Kurt laughed. "Oh really, I never could have guessed." He had Bethany in his lap and was making silly faces at her while she cooed in response. When she heard her father's laugh, Bethany smiled wide, waving her arms in excitement.

Jane rolled her eyes, walking over and curling up beside them. This had become something of a joke between them, apparently, ever since the first snowfall a few weeks ago. Jane had been delighted, rushing out to buy hot chocolate and happily gathering up scarves and mittens to prepare for the coming winter. Two days later, the cold snap broke, the snow melted, and it was once again the warm fall weather they had come to expect.

"It's magical though. Just something about being in the city. The snow, the decorations, the trees. Everything." Jane's voice drifted off as she closed her eyes, remembering last year in the city. While everyone else at the FBI seemed to dread the cold and traffic, Jane had fallen in love with the beauty of the season. When the first snow had fallen, she'd spent hours watching it from the window in her safe house. The way the snowflakes had danced in the wind, the way they fluttered through the beams of light. She'd gone outside then, even though it was after midnight, just to feel closer to the magic. She'd even stuck out her tongue, trying to catch to catch a snowflake before it melted.

The next morning she'd substituted her normal coffee for a hot chocolate, and she was hooked.

In the weeks that followed, after she left work, she found herself wondering around the streets of Manhattan, looking at the window displays and decorations. More often than not, she found herself at Rockefeller center, watching the skaters. No matter how chaotic work and everything else was, there was always something so peaceful about being there.

"You know we could go back for a visit." Kurt gently pressed a kiss to her temple. "Maybe next year. Fly out, spend a week or two. How does that sound?"

"Perfect." Jane's smile lit up her face. "And maybe we can take this one with us." She tickled Bethany's toes, eliciting a laugh from the little girl. "You'd love all the lights, wouldn't you girlie? And if you use that cute smile on daddy, I bet he'd buy you all the toys you wanted."

"I can't help it," Kurt replied as Bethany cooed in his direction. "We'll go to the city for Jane, but all the presents will be for _you_."

꙳~꙳~꙳~꙳~꙳~꙳~꙳~꙳~꙳

 _One Year Later….._

Kurt barely spent any time in New York anymore. Even less in Colorado. He barely spent any time anywhere anymore. He was always on the move, searching for Jane. He'd get a new lead, and catch the next flight out. He couldn't remember the last time he spent more than a few days in the same place.

Except now.

The moment he returned to New York, and saw the snow starting to fall, he knew he had to stay there. Just in case.

Logically, he knew she wouldn't be there. She couldn't be there. It would be too easy, too obvious. Whoever was after her, surely they would look in New York. _Anyone_ could find her in New York. Even in a city of 8 million people, Jane stood out.

But if there was one thing Kurt had, it was hope. He'd thought he'd lost it, so long ago. But still, as he watched the snowflakes float down, he knew he couldn't leave. Not just yet.

She loved the city in the winter. Her giddiness was contagious. Even in Colorado, when the days were shorter and the temperature dropped, she began to talk wistfully about the magical winter she imagined. He'd sworn, at any moment, she was just as likely to throw a snowball as she was to throw a punch.

It wasn't supposed to happen this way.

The thought hit him, the pain in his chest felt so real it hurt. He sat down on a nearby bench, willing the tears not to fall. It had been a year since she left. A year without her. A year without the love of his life. How was he supposed to go on? What was there for him without her? He knew why she'd left, of course. But he didn't understand why she had left _him_. They could have gone together, they _should_ have gone together.

They could have figured this out, and then found their way back home. Together.

The first place he'd gone was Italy. Back to where he'd proposed. Back to a place only they knew about. All he needed to do was to find her. He'd continued on to South Africa, to the town where she was born. Then the rain forests of Brazil, and the ruins of Rome. He had traveled the world just to find her.

He knew she wouldn't be in New York. But she had to be somewhere. And maybe, just maybe, she could find her way home for Christmas.

The knock on the door surprised him. He hadn't told anyone he was in the city. Usually he would check in with Reade, at least, even if it was to use the NYO resources. He hadn't bothered this time. He knew this city better than anyone. At least when it came to finding Jane. He knew where she loved to go – her favorite park, her favorite coffee shop. There was nothing the FBI could help him with right now.

Letting out a deep sigh, Kurt dragged himself to the door. This late at night, he didn't expect anything good. Or maybe he was just dreading the interruption from wallowing in self-pity.

"Allie?" he stared at her for a moment, unable to process what he was seeing, before he came to his senses, and gestured her inside, trying to help with the copious bags and bundles she was carrying.

"Here," Allie shifted a sleeping Bethany into Kurt's arms.

"Hi dada," the toddler mumbled, half asleep, before curling up against Kurt's shoulder.

Kurt hugged his daughter a little closer, closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling of having her in his arms once again. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed this. "What are you doing here?"

Allie dropped the rest of the bags just inside the closed door, letting out a long breath. "You have any beer?" she asked, walking over to the kitchen. Pulling two bottles out of the fridge, she continued. "You know how everyone hates when they see a baby on an airplane. I get it. I didn't want to be on the plane, and she's my daughter. She kept fussing and couldn't sit still. And then when we finally landed – she kept trying to run up and down the subway. She just passed out near Broad St. Finally."

Allie handed Kurt the other bottle before opening hers. "Don't give me that look Kurt. I love her, but she's crazy. She gets that from you."

Kurt gently kissed Bethany on her head, shifting her slightly as he carried her over to the couch. He laid her down, where she immediately curled up, still asleep. Kurt sat down next to her, running his fingers through her short hair, before opening the beer Allie had handed him. "So, why are you here? Why put yourself through that?"

"It's Christmas time. You shouldn't be alone." Allie stared at Kurt, before settling on the opposite side of the couch. "Besides, it's been a few months since you actually saw Bethany. I was starting to think she wouldn't recognize you outside of Skype."

"I miss her."

"Bethany? Or Jane?" Allie leaned back against the couch, before turning to face Kurt.

Kurt was silent. "Those few months in Colorado seemed perfect. I finally felt… it felt right, you know? We were in love. We were together, and I got to be in Bethany's life. It was perfect. And then, one day, it was gone. _She_ was gone." Kurt stared at his young daughter. "I miss her. But Jane's out there. I can't just – "

"I know," was all Allie said. "I know."

"We'd talked about visiting New York. She wanted Bethany to see the decorations." Kurt stared straight ahead, willing his voice to remain steady.

Allie gave a hollow laugh. "She really loved Christmas, didn't she?"

"I keep expecting to see her. Like yesterday, I chased this poor woman across the street. She was buying hot chocolate at that place that Jane loved – right on the corner by Rockefeller Plaza. I was sure it was Jane."

"Wow. How'd she react?"

Kurt cracked a smile. "I had to pull out my badge just to convince her I wasn't crazy. I don't know, she probably called the police as soon as I walked away."

They sat in silence once again, each nursing their beers as they thought. Kurt's face fell as he choked out the single thought that had plagued him since she had left. "What if I can't find her? Before it's too late?"

Allie stared at him, reaching out to clasp his hand. "You will."

"But what if?" his voice choked as tears threatened to fall.

"Kurt, I've known you for a long time. You won't stop looking until you find her. And you _will_ find her."


End file.
